


Doubt

by tetskuroo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetskuroo/pseuds/tetskuroo
Summary: Yachi doubts Kiyoko's feelings.
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Kudos: 41





	Doubt

Thinking back on it Yachi wasn’t really sure how she had built up the courage to get where she was in life; she was (co)manager of the boys volleyball team, had managed to make plenty of friends in her first year of high school (male and female), and had found enough strength in herself to confess to  _ and _ start dating the prettiest girl in school. She’d even admitted to her mom that she wasn’t straight and received support and happiness from the woman. Yachi was on cloud 9, riding the high that was her first year of high school, the year she’d been so scared to start. 

Everything was going fine until Yachi let herself get too comfortable. 

She’d let herself become too comfortable in herself around Kiyoko, let the snorts come out when she laughed and let the words roll off of her tongue when she was excited. She let herself open up, talked about her childhood and her family, asked about Kiyoko’s own and it was good. She was happy and Kiyoko was always smiling at her and it was all perfect. 

But then graduation talk came around and Kiyoko was going to leave and Yachi was panicking because what about her? What about the perfect world she had built with Kiyoko during her first year, the perfect family they’d built in the volleyball club? What about everything? 

She’d found herself spiraling into anxiety over it all, letting her thoughts of change consume her and make her life a nervous hell. Every time she saw Kiyoko or the other third years her mind raced about how things were going to be when her friends moved on, left the rest of them behind to play volleyball and go through school without them. 

She wasn’t showing her problems on the outside, pushing through the thoughts in her mind to act as normal as she could around the members of the team and her girlfriend. 

Two weeks before graduation was when she really started to distance herself. She’d avoided talking about what was going to happen after graduation with Kiyoko, shutting down the conversation whenever her girlfriend would try to start it and it was starting to eat away at her. She used the excuse that she was too preoccupied to have the conversation and then left, or even changed the subject when Kiyoko would find a way to bring up the topic when they had time together. 

It was one day during practice that Kiyoko had had enough, deciding to talk to Yachi about it when Yachi wasn’t able to run away. The third years were having fun even though it was one of their last practices, deciding to let the rules of the game go and have a few games of 3 on 3 happening. It was Daichi, Suga, and Asahi against Tanaka, Ennoshita, and Noya (he was ecstatic to play setter) and Yachi had been entranced enough in the game not to notice Kiyoko sneak up beside her. 

“Yachi,” the elder girl said quietly, startling her girlfriend. “It has come to my attention that you are anxious about something, and I would very much appreciate it if you would talk with me about your worries.” 

Yachi looked around in a panic, trying to think out her plan of action. She had nowhere she could run to, nothing to use as an excuse, nobody to help her change the subject - just her and Kiyoko and the topic she has been trying to avoid like wildfire. “O-oh, it’s nothing, Kiyoko-San!” She cringed at the sound of her own voice, how high pitched it sounded compared to usual. “I’m just stressed thinking about going into my second year, and the end of the year always seems to spring a lot of work on us an-”

“Yachi.” The blonde looked up to see her girlfriend much closer than she had been previously and her face immediately broke into a blush. “Why won’t you speak to me about what we are going to do after graduation?” Yachi squeezed her eyes closed, hoping the pounding in her chest would dull. She mumbled her response quiet enough that Kiyoko couldn’t hear it, even with how close the two of them were. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.” 

“I’m not good enough to hold you back,” she repeated louder, eyes still clenched shut. “I’m just some kid, and you’re so beautiful and talented and amazing, Kiyoko-San! You’re going to find someone that compliments you far better than I do and you and them are going to be beautiful together and go far in life. I know that you’re going to dump me, Kiyoko-San, and I’ve avoided talking to you about graduation because I’m not ready to lose you and the others yet.” 

“You really think all of that?” Kiyoko’s voice was quiet, and it was hard for Yachi to tell if she was upset or not. She nodded anyways, because she’d made it this far. Why would she give up now? “Yachi, please look at me.” It took her a minute but Yachi did as was requested of her, letting her eyes flutter open to meet those of Kiyoko’s. 

Of all Kiyoko’s beautiful features Yachi had always loved her eyes the most - they were a sharp grey that sent most people running but they always were so soft when the third year was looking at her girlfriend. There was no exception, even now, and Yachi found her chest aching because Kiyoko is so damn beautiful. “I’m sorry if I have done anything to make you believe that I don’t want to continue this relationship into the months to come,” the black haired woman started, and it took a moment for the words to register in Yachi’s head. 

“I have full intentions to continue this relationship as long as you want to keep it as well, even if it is going to be hard with the distance that is going to be between us.” 

Yachi was just confused now. “B-But I’m just me, Kiyoko-San.” 

Kiyoko’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s why I’m here, Yachi.” 

Yachi pulled back a little, shaking her head, “you were made for more than me, Kiyoko-San - you’re ethereal, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and will ever meet. Anyone in this world would be lucky to be with you and I can’t hold you back from all of the other beautiful women you are going to meet in college and at coffee shops and the supermarket. It’s not fair of me to do-”

Yachi knew that Kiyoko was more a woman of action than words but she didn’t expect to feel Kiyoko’s lips on her own in order to stop the first year from continuing her speech. It took Yachi a few seconds to register what was happening, and then she was panicking more because this was her first kiss - even after a couple months of dating Kiyoko they hadn’t managed to make it to this point and it had Yachi in awe. She squeezed her eyes shut as tight as possible and leaned into her girlfriend, trying to let her body lead her and shut her mind up. 

It worked for all of two seconds until she heard a ‘gwah’ from Hinata and gasps from other members of the team. She pulled away from Kiyoko quickly, her face as red as it had ever been, and turned to see all twelve members of the team staring at she and her girlfriend. 

“I-I-” she stuttered, trying to think of what to say. 

“I’m sorry, I seem to have gotten carried away,” Kiyoko said to the boys. She was unashamed, not even a blush growing to cover her cheeks. This seemed to be it for Noya and Tanaka, both of whom fell back onto the ground. The first to speak up was Hinata, a large smile on his face. 

“You never told us you guys were dating!” 

Yachi rubbed the back of her neck, looking at her girlfriend. Kiyoko shrugged, “it never came up.” 

Tanaka and Noya shot back up, running in circles screaming about how they had let the goddess be taken away by the person they least expected to be ‘competition.’ 

Yachi looked up to her girlfriend anxiously to find that Kiyoko was already looking at her, soft smile on her face. “K-Kiyoko-San?” 

“I want you, Yachi.” 

And hearing those words was the only thing Yachi needed - Kiyoko was looking at her with honest eyes and a smile on her face, and it erased all of Yachi's worries for now.

*****

“You’ll call me when you get here?” Yachi laughed at the question, a fond smile growing on her face. 

It had been six months since Kiyoko had graduated high school and had moved on to living further away. Six months since they’d been able to see each other everyday. Six months since Yachi was a first year. Six months since Daichi and Suga and Asahi and Kiyoko had been a part of the volleyball club. It had been six months and though they were scary, uncertain times, they were fantastic. 

“Kiyoko-San, you act like this is my first time coming to visit you!” 

Yachi and Kiyoko called each other every other night, and texted everyday when they had time - Yachi even went and visited Kiyoko once a month, and everything was good. The distance was scary at first, and even still Yachi would start to doubt herself sometimes because the girls at Kiyoko’s college were older and prettier and more experienced - why would Kiyoko want to be with her? Kiyoko always found a way to reassure her, though, even when Yachi didn’t want to open up about being insecure. 

“You can just call me Kiyoko, Yachi. We’ve been dating for a while now.” 

Yachi’s face heated up. She glanced around the bus, anxious as if someone could hear her conversation. "K-Kiyoko-San-"

"We can work on it when you get here, then." Her face was growing even more red, and she was sure if she stayed on the phone much longer her face would never turn back to normal. 

"I'll see you soon, Kiyoko-San!!" She hung up as soon as her girlfriend replied, heart racing. 

Was she ever going to get used to how Kiyoko made her feel? 

She stared at her lock screen, a photo of her and Kiyoko from the last time they had managed to spend time together. Kiyoko was facing the camera and Yachi had turned to kiss her cheek right before the photo was taken. The picture perfectly captured the blush on Kiyoko's cheeks and looking at it always made Yachi's heart race.

Her mind could try to trick her all it wanted - deep down she knew that she had the same effect on Kiyoko as the other had on her, and that was enough proof in itself. 


End file.
